


Fallout

by AuthorChristina



Series: By Now [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Gay, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Sad, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 21:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15034043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorChristina/pseuds/AuthorChristina
Summary: After months of hiding their relationship from their friends Bucky reaches a breaking point.-Minor spoliers for Infinity War at the beginning.





	Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Fallout by Marianas Trench.
> 
> -
> 
> I'm posting this on mobile so hopefully it post correctly.
> 
> -
> 
> This is also the first of a series of one shots.

Most of the time things were good. Everything had settled down and everyone who “died” do to Thanos’ snap had been brought back to life.

Bucky was now staying with Steve and the rest of the Avengers at headquarters. It was nice. Bucky no longer had to worry about getting triggered into super soldier mode by someone saying a couple of words and he, along with Steve and others, had been cleared and were no longer wanted. They could finally just relax and do whatever they wanted to.

It also meant that Bucky could finally be with Steve in every way he had ever wanted to be. It was easy to fall back into a schedule and be together. It was nice to share a room and be able to look over and see Steve lying beside him.

Most of the time everything was great between them. They would cuddle on the couch and watch TV, lazily kiss each other, and just enjoy each other’s company. They would make love and fall asleep in each other’s arms. It was almost perfect.

The only thing that Bucky didn’t like was how Steve wouldn’t go public with their relationship. It wasn’t even that he wanted the whole world to know, just their friends. He wanted to be able to walk up behind Steve in the common room and hug him. He wanted to be able to casually hold his hand or take him out to dinner at a restaurant.

He wanted to stop hiding their relationship behind closed doors and bedrooms.

Anytime Bucky brought it up Steve would brush it off, mumble something and then change the subject. Bucky was beginning to feel like he was a secret that Steve was ashamed of. It didn’t sit well with him. He also didn’t like how Steve would brush it off anytime he tried to talk to him about it.

He just wanted to be able to be free with their relationship and not hide it. What made it even worse was how Natasha was constantly trying to set Steve up on dates. Every week it was another woman who would be perfect for Steve and she’d go on and on about how happy they would be together or how Tony would bring up Sharron every once in a while. That didn’t bug him as much as Natasha trying to set Steve up did.

Steve would just brush it off with a smile and a laugh, always saying no. When Bucky talked to Steve about it Steve told him not to worry about it, that he wouldn’t ever say yes and that Bucky was the only guy for him.

Bucky was trying not to let it get to him and was trying to be happy with what he had. All he wanted was to be with Steve and he was, even if everyone didn’t know.

~~~

Bucky was having a bad day. He hadn’t slept much the night before because Steve had been gone for a mission and Bucky found it hard to sleep without his peaceful presence. He had also been up most of the night with nightmares. He didn’t have nightmares often but when he did they were awful and brought up all sorts of things that he didn’t want to think about. Then he had to spend ten minutes listening to Natasha talk about the newest woman she was going to try and set Steve up with.

So, when Steve arrived home with a couple of bruises on his face and bandages Bucky was not in a good mood and seeing Steve hurt didn’t help matters. He hated seeing Steve hurt, especially when he got hurt on a mission.

“Are you okay Stevie?” Bucky asked when he walked in.

Steve waved him off, “Fine Buck, just some minor injuries. Nothing I haven’t had to deal with before.”

Bucky got up from where he was sitting at the counter and stepped closer to Steve, placing a hand gently on his chin so that he could look at the bruises closer.

Steve shrugged him off, “Really Buck. It’ll heal within a day.”

Bucky shook his head, “Whatever.” He mumbled. It wasn’t the first time Steve had shrugged him off.

He went back to the table and grabbed his dishes and stuck them in the dishwasher before going back to his and Steve’s room, not wanting to deal with Steve shrugging him off. He was allowed to be concerned, even if Steve was a super soldier who would heal fast, it didn’t mean that Bucky was going to be happy seeing Steve all banged up.

A few moments later Steve joined Bucky.

Steve sat laid on his side and propped himself up on his elbow, “Come on Buck, don’t give me the silent treatment. I’m okay. The mission wasn’t even that bad. No need to be mad.”  
“I’m not mad.” Bucky muttered.

“Could have fooled me.”

“Nat has another woman she wants to set you up with. Claims that this one is perfect for you.” Bucky said bitterly.

Steve sighed, “Are we really going to fight over this again? You know I’m never going to say yes to being set up with anyone. I only have eyes for you.”

“Yeah? Then why don’t you inform Nat of that so I don’t have to sit through another morning of her telling me how another woman would be oh so perfect for you?” Bucky snapped.

“This again? Bucky why can’t you be happy the way we are? You’re my one and only, I don’t want anyone else.”

“Because I’m tired of feeling like your dirty little secret!” Bucky snapped, sitting up.

“You’re not.”

“Really? Then why doesn’t everyone else know about us? Why do you still insist on acting like we’re just friends in front of everyone? Bucky glared at him, letting all the hurt and confusion show on his face.

It wasn’t the first time they had this fight but Bucky was determined for this one to be the last. He couldn’t live with being a secret anyone. He deserved more than that.

“I.. what’s so bad with just keeping it between us? Letting it be just an us thing? Everyone doesn’t need to know our business.”

“What’s so… Natasha is still trying to hook you up with women she knows! Every week it’s a different woman!”

“Yeah but I’m never going to say yes.”

“That’s not the point. She shouldn’t even be doing it. Are you ashamed of me? Of us? Of loving a man? This isn’t the 1940s anymore Stephan. Men can love men and be open about it.”

Steve winced at Bucky calling him ‘Stephan’, he only did that when he was majorly angry.

“I know that Buck.”

“Then why is it only okay to show that I love you when we’re locked in your room?”

Steve sighed and rubbed his face, “We’re not telling anyone. I don’t want people to know.” He said with finality.

Bucky stared at him, hurt and angry. He was tired of being a secret. Tired of hiding. Tired of feeling hurt when Steve would keep his distance in front of the others.

He shook his head, “Fine. I’m done.” He said.

He looked at Steve once more before walking out of the room and going to his, slamming the door.

Steve watched him leave, deciding he would give Bucky some time before talking to him.  
However, when Steve went to talk to Bucky the next morning he wasn’t in his room.

He was gone and so was his stuff.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? The second part is already written and will be posted soon.


End file.
